Well, well, well blog fans, what a long time it has been! I bet you're all desperate to know what I have been up to these last few months aren't you?

Well I'm not going to tell you.

 

However today I am living the dream from San Francisco, just sitting by the bay, wasting time. I am over here on route to Vegas, baby, Sin City, Nevada, where I shall be attending the "premium education event of the year". Apparently. More on that in future entries. For now though I'd like to discuss the merits of flying British Airways economy class for 12 hours. Now, as you know, I'm not one to complain, but has the average height of Britons shot up recently? How else are we to explain why BA think that giving people a seat that could only sit a 4 ft tall pigmy comfortably is acceptable?

 

All I can say is its a good job I am a 4 ft tall pigmy, else my back would probably be killing me now. Not to mention my legs.

Hey blog fans, sorry for the lack of upates recently, been working like a MAN, but yesterday was a historic day that I had to share.

 

I was at a meeting with a customer in Bern, Swtizerland. For the first time in my long and distingushed IT Consultancy career I was actually older than any of the customer present. A shocknig day indeed.

Well, what an eventful evening last night was. Was lying in bed about 11 trying to drop off to sleep, when heard a bicycle outside my house, followed by lots of banging and rustling, so I took a look out of window only to see some little scamp in my car!

 

He spotted me and legged it, ironically leaving his bike behind. However he made off with some cheap sunglasses, a CD,  an empty CD case (as the CD was in CD player) and my iPod in car  charger. I would say though that the total value of what he took was less than the bike he left behind, the loser.

 

Police came and took the bike away. Apparently they will update me on the case next week, so I'll let you know if they catch the geezer. Frankly I am not hopeful.

 

Bizarely this the second time my car has been broke into in a month, having never had it broken into before in the 3 years I have owned it.

 

Whats that all about, has some new thieving bast*rd manual been issued on how to break into Golfs?

Well this weekend was J0nnyMac's  (http://spaces.msn.com/members/J0nnymac) stag do, and as is traditional on these occasions it was a long hard weekend of non-stop foolishness.

Glossing over Friday night, when things got off to a mercifully slow drinking start, just a few looseners to get the drinking arm warmed up, we had a ludicrously early start on Saturday morning to drive 40 miles into the middle of nowhere for a day of paintballing.

 With hindsight I might have been better off not leaving the map and directions I had printed off at home and just assuming I would find the paintball venue easily as this place was a b*tch to find.Thankfully though the "organisation" was a little poor at the place, so by the time I had stumbled, by luck, across it 20 mins late they will still giving out the kit and not all sat around waiting for me. Phew.

 Highlight of the paintballing was undoubtedly the 100 rounds I mercilessly unloaded into the stag. That will teach him, the loser!

 Actually I must admit to some feelings of guilt for shooting him in the nuts. To be fair though it must have been an amazing bit of sharp shooting to get him there. Still, I am sure he will be OK by the wedding. Maybe.

 Following the paintball it was back down to Southsea and the delights of Albert Road for curry, at the always exceptional value Bombay Express. An interesting meal there, where it was revealed that J0nnyMac is not a man to get on the wrong side of. Check out old gay hair's blog for details on that: http://spaces.msn.com/members/BenThompson/

 After a quick one in the Vaults it was off to the Wedgewood Rooms for a clubbing extravaganza. Well, I've not been to the Wedgewood Rooms for at least 4 years, but it hadn't changed a bit. It was still sh*t. Also it was amazingly hot, so the clubbing only lasted an hour or so, then it was back to J0nnymac's for a bit until the lethal whisky appeared. I have foolishly had whisky at J0nnymac's before, so not wishing to be bitten on the arse by the same dog twice, I made my excuses and left.

 Hangover on Sunday wasn't too bad, popped back for breakfast down the seafront with J0nnymac (lunch for him, as the cheeky scamp had "forgot" about our breakfast rendezvous and had already gone with the freaks who had spent the night on his floor). After that it was back home for a great afternoon of sitting on the sofa watching crap TV. Get in!

 PS Rain at last! Guttering held up fine to a massive storm of biblical proportions that stuck the Portsmouth area last night, so an excellent job done there. Check out this for the storm...

 http://www.thenews.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=455&ArticleID=1135571